This is it
by Mardelzor
Summary: "Ilove You" left broken hearts for all fans,  here's the scene i saw from Sam's POV after that elevator closed and they'd said i love you for the first time...


**Hello fanfiction, I haven't written in a while, haven't been inspired and I've been taking a break because I'm very busy. But not too busy for Seddie. I must say, I was equally thrilled and appalled with what Dan Schneider did with their relationship. I was thrilled because they were together, they still had their true Seddie moments and loved the kisses. Especially at the break up, with them saying I love you. Quite the turn around from 'I hate you' during other moments. That's where the heartbreak comes in, I legit cry every time I watch it. Why the hell did they have to break up? It's not freaking fair, look at all they've been through, all the obstacles! So for their relationship after their initial getting together, I felt it was a bit forced. Like they were trying to fit Carly's definition of girlfriend and boyfriend, trying to follow her dumbbutt advice on how gf/bf are supposed to act (ok, some of it was reasonable). But something was off, not seddie. That's not the kind of couple they are, they're…different. I truly hope Dan doesn't leave us hanging, and that they'll get back together soon the RIGHT WAY, not forced or dumb lovey lovey which is so not seddie! They're deeper than what I saw (although many of the moments were super cute) dan could do such a better job with them. I really love this couple, if you can't tell. *sigh* ok, rant over, read, review, blahblahblah. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own icarly (wish I did!)**

…

The elevator dings as the door closes, and I'm right where I want to be, back in the arms of the man I love. His warmth envelops me, arms wrapped tight around my waist as if he never wants to let me go, has no intention of ever releasing me. There's desperation in the way his lips meet mine, something there that wasn't there before. Because he knew, just like I did, how reality would come slapping us in the face soon.

This realization only makes us cling to each other tighter, heat rising, hearts pounding frantically, lips melding together perfectly. _This is it, he's the one._ Something told me, but I pushed that voice away knowing this perfection would end all too soon. My fingers thread through his soft brown hair, hair that may very well have some other girl's fingers running through it soon.

Somehow, several minutes later, we ended up lying next to each other in the place where this crazy love began, on the fire escape, a blanket spread beneath us. The frantic kisses had slowed and now we just looked at each other, stars reflected in our eyes. I slowly scanned his face, committing to memory every dip and plane, the exact shape of his lips and eyes. I reached over, kissing gently those favorite places of mine to look at. The place where his nose crinkles up when he's laughing, the part of his forehead that scrunches up when he's confused…until I reach one of my favorite parts, his lips.

These kisses are slower, calculated, as if we were trying to savor this and make it last as long as possible. I pull back again to watch him in the moonlight, my palm flat against his chest as he gives me a slight smile. Tears threaten as I realize this might be it for me, how many chances am I really going to get? I love him so much it hurts, it's the kind of pain that makes your stomach clench and harden into a sick knot, the kind that doesn't go away. _This is it._ With one last, lingering kiss, I stand up. A tear dropped down my cheek and onto his when I'd kissed him and he lay there with his finger pressed there, trying to figure out what it was as I walked away.

"Sam, wait-" he started, trying to stand up. But I didn't care. I ran and didn't look back once, tears blurring my vision, my only thought to get down the fire escape and away from this. Once my feet hit pavement, I didn't give up but kept relentlessly pushing myself until I was as far from the apartment building as possible. I turned my phone off once I reached my secret place, a little area I'd made my own on the roof of one building. Maybe tomorrow would be better, maybe I'd be able to convince myself that this was for the best, that I'll get over him soon, that another girl will be better for him. But for now I'll allow myself to let go, let the tears flow, and attempt to wash away the pain.


End file.
